Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The fuuny thing about the gang of us in New Jersey was that most of us lived with Jewish families so when it came to certain holidays they had their own menu's... Now I'm not one hundred percent sure as to what holiday went with what food but I can tell you there was some strange edibles in the house. I'm not sure if it was Roshashona or who's your mama Thanksgiving or forgetting, passover or onceover alls I know is I had to eat Matza hmmmmmmmmm what should I have Matza crackers, Matza balls, Matza soup,Matza this or Matza that well when theres not much else and when all else fails you have Matza whatever!! For any of you who have never had Matza let me tell you its like going to communion and the priest saying you've been a good girl so you can have all the bread and once it hits the moisture in your mouth it clumps like cement to the pallet of your mouth. My experience with the famous Matza was indeed embarrassing I had to get a fork and dig that shite from my pallet,and afraid I would be asked a question I had to do it quickly or I would have sounded like a babbling idiot! I remember one of the gran-ma's asking me if I liked it and I said ohhh yes its lovely and tasty meanwhile it tasted like fucking cardboard,she said its nice with jelly(now that I know what jelly is), tunafish, peanut butter ETC ah come on I'm not eating anymore cardboard thank you very much!!!!

When all the nannies got to know each other pretty well we would go to each others houses where we worked, of course it was so the kids could have a playdate(there's a new one)NOT it was so we could have a bit of craic(laugh) catching up on who's doing what and who works what god forsaken hours and who has to do what in the house. I must say I didn't have to contend with the cleaning or laundry or cooking thank god, although one week the cleaning lady could not make it and I was asked to vacum(hoover) the house and being the good girl I was I said sure no problem well I found the vacum it was just this lond ass tub with nothing else attached and I said to myself, self what the fuck do you do with this so around and around and around the house I go looking for something or somewhere to plug this fucking thing in and after an hour and a few smokes on the no smoking deck I found it a hole in the wall where you stick the stupid thing, talk about feeling like an asshole.Once I got the hang of it, it was great although I was not going to do this everyweek so ms cleaning lady better solve whatever issues she was having and get back to work......

I remember going to one nanny's house, she was taking care of two beautifull kids a boy and a girl not to mention two dogs one being a giant poodle that looked like a horse and the other I don't remember. She was told that when the poodle took a poop or made (took a crap in other words) she was to wipe the dogs butt with toilet paper now we all have limits and I know for me wiping the kids butts was bad enough don't mind a dogs, I think she use to hose the dogs ass with water very funny.This was one of the few families that were not Jewish so had what I call regular food.Anyway this house always had loads and I mean loads of food so off I would go to raid the fridge then the freezer for ice cream the nanny would say ahh jesus don't eat it all but this was all new and i had to sample everything. Finally I was barred from fridges when on playdates ha ha barred I tell you all who in the name of jesus gets barred from a fridge that explains why I became pleasantly plump nice and round, one nanny use to say hello fat girl shit don't hold back and tell me how you really feel.......

November of 1985 brought a new holiday Thanksgiving never heard of that one but hey if I am off from work I'll give thanks. Well that was shattered with the news we were ALL going to Long Island for Thanksgiving to Grandma's house shit I thought to myself were is that, is it a different country, state or planet. So on with the Sunday best on Thursday into the station wagon and off to grandma's house sounds like little red riding hood) The youngest kid would continually say to me go back to IREALAND and in my mind I would say I will you little shite do you think I want to be here listening to your whinning and yelling hell NO, but on this day he was nice and clingy with me which was fine because there was alot of people there all family as far as I remember and enough food to feed an army so a good day was had by all. So before I knew were I was it was xmas and I spent it with one of the nanny's and the huge Italian family they had. First it was xmas eve and the dinner was not all kinds of but everykind of fish you could name and being brave I tried slimey, crispy and chewey fish I was beeter off not asking what it was cause I would have gotton sick.On this day I had a huge and I mean huge scab on my lip talk about sticking out I felt like it was the size of a golfball and everyone was looking at me, all these strangers, but they were no more looking at me than the man in the moon in fact they were very nice and welcoming to me anyway.The poor nanny had to do all the clean up and polish the stupid copper pops and gadgets hanging over the stove as I mentioned before.It wasn't funny but I just couldn't help breaking my shite laughing its 11.30pm xmas eve nite and she is still cleaning but hey thats what some of us had to do and besides we didn't know we could tell them to go fuck themsleves!I stayed with her that night and of course we laughed most of the night as we always did.The next day was xmas day and again I was with the nanny's family again and although the mother was a fuck to her nanny she was nice to me and did give me alot of gifts so I wouldn't feel left out ( ahh now that would make a grown man cry). I am gratefull to her and her family for making me feel part of the bunch and seeing that it was my first xmas away from home it went well although I did feel homesick especially for my ma........ To be continued ENJOY

Sunday, July 5, 2009

So When I arrived in New Jersey and began working for a family I asked myself what in the name of jaysus am I going to eat here in this strange land and strange fridge (what could be in it? and will I like it? or will I starve?) So to my surprise there was plenty of edibles in the fridge and so I began stuffing my face. I must say when one of the kids asked me for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich I thought what the fuck is that jelly on bread Huhhh, the jelly I knew and was use to was in a bowl and was eaten as a desert and now these kids want it on bread so OK, I went to the fridge and found a jar of peanut butter (chunky style) but for the life of me I could not find a bowl of jelly. After a while of looking like an ejit (idiot) I asked the kid to find it and by jesus he found it no bother but it was ina jar, ah for fuck sake it was jam!!!! The four year old looked at me like I just landed from space. And I said to myself just eat the fucking sandwich.

Dinner time was another shock the woman was making chicken for dinner and I figured lovely I'll have some of that till she asked me to get out the cornflakes and put some on the chicken ahh here whats with these people they are having breakfast and dinner together, but seeing I was new in the house I didn't wan to be picky so I ate some of it and to be honest I don't believe it was that bad.